Is Kindness Dead?

"Really?"

"You're Kiddin'?"

"Me!?"

Among other puzzled inquiries, these were the things I heard yesterday as I joined a good friend and great organization (Team Red, White & Blue - check 'em out at www.teamrwb.org) for a few hours to hand out cups of water to runners on Kelly Drive this morning.  There was no race, walk, regatta or other event tied to the cause, just a few people with a table, a couple of gallons of water and a lot of smiles.  I can't take the credit for the idea, but boy was it a great one.  When Melissa invited me to  take part in the morning's random act of kindness I was completely jazzed, however unprepared for the response that would follow.  

People were stunned.

It saddens me that random acts of kindness are so surprising.  Its easy to infer that people are so taken aback by such acts because they just don't come around as often as they should.  Are random acts of kindness following in the footsteps of chivalry?  Or do we just not acknowledge them often enough?  

Now, I will be the first to acknowledge that performing random acts of kindness is not intended to be recognized.  In fact, it's often sweeter when it's not, but you would expect that people wouldn't be so surprised when they encountered an act of gratitude.  I was fully expecting people to be able to share their own stories of something similar.  Instead people had a really hard time digesting that we were really just giving out water to runners, walkers and those enjoying time on the Kelly Drive path.  

So this brings me back to my initial question:  is kindness dead, or could it be evolving into a less appreciated form? You'll often hear men talk about how they understand chivalry and they attempt to practice it's courteous actions, however it goes unnoticed and unappreciated by today's female.  Today's dating world is a topic for another blog, but women are all too often outwardly exerting strength and independence which leaves men opening fewer doors because "she can do it herself".  So, men ask, "why try?" or better yet, "why waste the time?"  I think the same equates to kindness.  Society is moving at such a rapid pace and often only interested in what gets them through the day.  People are so determined that they don't need other's help which also extends into the random acts of kindness.  We are so focused on becoming independent and self-sustaining that we've become suspicious of those who simply stand outside and offer water to a couple of runners.  We could be on the brink of dehydration in the middle of the desert and still contemplating whether to take this cup of water from the stranger offering.  If kindness weren't a dwindling characteristic, people wouldn't feel the need to be so weary of those who are trying to keep it's positive energy alive.  

Speaking of positive energy, as selfish as it is, random acts of kindness make me feel so good.  With every grateful face and every 'thank you', that warm, fuzzy feeling grew like the Grinch's heart.  Let's face it, kindness is addicting.  Gratitude is infectious.  With one thank you, you want another.  There is an element of kindness to others that serves to make one's self feel just that much better.  And you know what, I think that's okay.  It's worth it when you think about how much that kindness can multiply if every person pays it forward to the next and so forth.  

So I say, go for it.  Buy the person behind you coffee.  Help to pick up those papers that your co-worker dropped while rushing to a meeting.  Hand out hot coffee to workers that are starting to get chilly during their outdoor day job.  I promise you that you'll feel wonderful, the other person(s) will appreciate the kindness and maybe, just maybe, we can rejuvenate a community that does for each other without hesitation.