Everything I learned about pregnancy, I read on the internet

...or from being pregnant. Or a combination of both. 

I've finally found some time to write on our short babymoon getaway to Boston. I'm five weeks from baby Lynch's due date and while my pregnancy has been relatively smooth, there are some things that I could not have planned for. 

Fear. The first number of weeks are scary. Despite not confirming pregnancy until 15 weeks, I spent the next number of weeks terrified that I would do something to harm the baby. I was active, but was I being too active?  I would forget my prenatal vitamins - is the baby getting enough nutrients? News flash: babies are resilient little creatures, even while still completely dependent on the mother. It was nearly 23 weeks before I recognized the baby's movements and was finally able to breathe a little as he and I adjusted to a regular schedule when I could expect to bond with him over his active times.

Lesson(s) Learned: Those articles that say you will feel they baby move at 14, 18, 20, whatever number of weeks are wrong. Everything happens at such different times for different moms. While there will always be fear throughout the prenancy, have some patience that your body and baby will tell you what you need to know when they are ready. 

Body consciousness. Sure, we all know that with pregnancy comes weight gain. What I wasn't prepared for was the emotional toll that continued weight gain would have on my self confidence and emotional state. "Weight gain means a healthy baby", they say. It makes plenty of logical sense on the surface, but it doesn't compensate for the emotional discomfort that accompanies the gradual creeping number on the scale. I've experienced nightmares on top of the obvious growing out of clothes that fit as recently as days ago. The body changes have been tough for me. The declining intensity of workouts didn't help, either. Contrary to what I had convinced myself, my running ceased around 30 weeks and has been replaced by long walks. My ability for a vinyasa yoga class has transitioned to a less intense prenatal yoga. It's a lifestyle that I'm not used to, and lacks the usual emotional outlet that I'm used to.

Lesson(s) Learned: Weight gain IS natural, and doing the best you can to stay in shape is really enough. Talking about it works for me. It doesn't change the discomfort with my very different body, but acknowledging that the feelings exist at least helps to deal with them. And franky, those long walks with Joe have been some of the best pre-baby times. A blessing in disguise really. 

Acid Reflux.  Two horrible words that no one can prepare for. Never in my life had I experienced heartburn or acid reflux prior to my 20th week in pregnancy. And then, watch out. Tums, Zantac, sleeping while sitting up, nausea....  Oh my. I've tried to describe it to people as the worst morning after a binge drinking and throwing up fest ever. The burn in the back of the throat, the horrible taste, the inability to get comfortable and the sporadic nature of it all are the worst. It will wake me in the middle of the night on the brink of throwing up. Not cool. I tried every home remedy that I could find: chewing gum, sipping water, eating crackers, you name it (well, except drinking aloe Vera juice) before succumbing to Zantac. 

Lesson(s) Learned: Listen to your body closely. You are able to establish your triggers and really cut back on the misery (and need for daily Zantac). For me it is tomato based products and chocolate. If I avoid, I'm all set. Though, avoiding chocolate during pregnancy is worse than having a puking hangover, frankly. Also, if you do wake up and throw up everywhere in bed, make sure to tell your partner quickly. Like, before he puts his hand in it trying to help you. Whoops!

Deepening my relationship. Just like every couple, Joe and I have hand our relationship hiccups. We've fought, laughed, debated and simply loved. Though what I wasn't prepared for was the amount my love would increase as we fumbled through pregnancy together. Our fights have been minimal and for the most part rational. Our time together has been spent truly enjoying our final weeks together before we become a family of three. I'm very blessed to have a partner that is so involved and loving through the roller coaster that is pregnancy. I have enjoyed these months with him immensely, watching him become a father even before Baby Lynch arrives. I can't help but smile as he talks about or to our child and the love we share over someone that we haven't even met yet. Lots of men create children but not all men become amazing fathers. I'm lucky to have found the latter. 

Lesson(s) Learned: Enjoy the time together. It's inevitably scary for both parties despite only being physically uncomfortable for one. Enjoy the walks, the talks, the planning, the appointments, and the calamity of emotions that you both share. Assuming you're a couple for a reason - because you share common understanding and values - you'll realize just how much of the same fears and anticipation that you're sharing too. Soon your lives will change forever, and you won't be able to get those days of just the two of you back. Make them count while you still can. 

Weird Physical Ailments. As I've said previously, I haven't dealt with many challenges over the last 8 months. However, there have been minor annoyances. I've developed a bit of carpal tunnel over the last few weeks that is just present enough to be a nuisance. It has caused minor numbness in the tips of two fingers on my dominant hand, and word is that it won't go away until delivery. I've also found that my ankles don't swell but my feet do. Some days it's enough to not fit into my shoes. I've worn compression socks when I can, and that does help a bit, but doesn't eliminate the problem altogether. And my favorite, snoring. With the bit of weight gain, I've taken up the new habit of snoring. Joe just loves it. Can't get enough. (read: sarcasm). I can only hope it also goes away after delivery. I've tried Breathe Right strips and differ sleeping positions but nothing seems to help. It even wakes me up!   ::sigh::

All in all, it's easy to get caught up in the above but in reality the process isn't so bad. There are very wonderful moments that counter those that make you pray for the 40th week. Being a mother is one of my dreams, and I'm very lucky to be able to do so with relative ease. 

Maternity Jeans: Day One

Maternity jeans?!  What?!  

Chances are that I should back up just a few months.  Not only has my blogging slipped, but life has been moving pretty quickly for a number of weeks...er...months.  In the past 60 days, I've traveled to see family twice, jetted to London for a quick business trip and toured the southern coast of Ireland for ten days (blog to follow...).  Those things were all planned.  What wasn't planned, you ask?  Finding out that I'm 15.5 weeks pregnant along the way!  

WOAH.  Major news.  

On December 8th, Joe and I visited the doctor with the strong indication that we were on the path from a carefree twosome to family of three.  We were glassed over, quiet and, in all honesty, fearful.  It was just days prior that we were patting ourselves on the back for continually paying rent and bills on time.  And now someone was about to change our level of responsibility completely.  The entire staff at Drexel was amazing, making accommodations to get us back in to see the doctor for an ultrasound on the same day since I was traveling to London at the end of the week.  For me, this is where so much changed.  For most, the first ultrasound is a small bean or a best a vague shape with a heartbeat.  Since we were MUCH further along than even the doctors had expected, our first look at Baby Lynch was of arms and legs and little baby belly.  It suddenly became very real.  We had created a little life that was soon going to change our worlds forever.  Joe and I stared in awe at this little person, speechless.  Questions?!  Plenty, but I couldn't think of even one at that point.  We walked home in near silence, except for an agreement to get pizza for dinner.  Over pizza...and a bit of whiskey for Joe...we both acknowledged a peacefulness that had settled over us.  Sure, we were still a bit glazed over and still stunned by the recent confirmation, but it was as if we both knew that this is the way it was meant to be.  To date, we both await the panic and frenzy that I would have expected on that day though it has yet to arrive.  

Don't think that I haven't found moments of panic, however.  Oh no, it's not all cool and collected over here.  There is a small breakdown every morning around 7AM.  Yep, when I'm trying to find something suitable to cover my ever-changing body.  As an athlete who has long been self conscious of body image, I've struggled with even the natural weight gain that comes along with pregnancy.  "Be proud, it's your baby growing" people say.  I say, "bullsh!t".  You find me a woman who loves gaining weight and I'll entertain the conversation.  Alas, it's a part of the process.  I'm settling into the pieces of clothing that accommodate constantly growing Baby Lynch, and to celebrate my 21st week of pregnancy, I purchased a pair of maternity jeans.  Well...kind of....  The bestie convinced me to try them on, to which I obliged reluctantly.  There was a moment where it felt shameful to be investing in denim with no zipper, but the shame does disappear when you realize just how comfortable they are!!  There is a reason that leggings have skyrocketed in popularity, after all.  I wore my jeans for the first time today, and felt pretty good in them.  I am thrilled that my baby is healthy and growing on schedule and am starting to embrace the changes that are coming along.  

19 weeks to go...  Let's hope that the salesgirl's promise for the jeans to "grow with you" is actually true.  I'm not sure if I can stomach outgrowing my maternity jeans!!