Some nights the Peanut puts himself to bed. On the really good nights, he picks up his blanket and his gaggle of stuffed animals and heads into his bedroom. Other nights, he falls asleep during story time and can peacefully be transferred to his crib. And then there are nights where we've reached the witching hour and his father and I need to take him to bed, semi-against his will.
This past Sunday, we found ourselves counting down for him "10 more minutes until bedtime"...."5 more minutes until bedtime"....as if I thought that made a difference to him... Alas, I scooped him up, fully against his will, stood next to his crib and sang him two rounds of lullabies. He peacefully drifted to sleep on my shoulder to the last few stanzas of 'Hush Little Baby', but just as I smiled to myself at his sweet, sleeping face and tried to place him into the crib he awoke desperately crying for Mama. I attempted to soothe him with his pacifier and his blankie, his stuffed dogs....the big one and the little one, and with a little more out-of-tune humming. Nothing; the tears flowed on. This wasn't his whiny, sleepy, "I just don't want to go to bed" cry. It was a full on, clear desperation, tears included crying. I continued to rub his back as he stood at the edge of the crib gripping a piece of my shirt. Now, like most moms and dads, I try to stick to a schedule. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, naps, bedtime, etc - all on a schedule. So, you can imagine the thoughts running through my head as I looked down at my little guy, who had pulled his blankie up as a makeshift pillow on the edge of the crib so that he may continue to be close to me.
"If i pick him up, he'll make a habit of this"
"I can't disrupt the routine"
"He'll settle down if I'm quiet"
But as I looked down at my little guy again, the tears nearly dropped on his head. My tears. He was looking to be soothed by his Mama and I was caught up in schedules and regiment. So with a deep breath, I scooped up my Peanut and found a dark, quiet place for us on the sofa next to his dad. He was nearly instantly asleep in my arms, just needing a bit of Mama's love to soothe whatever was between Dreamland and him. I held him for 30 minutes before placing him down in his crib peacefully, nearly 90 minutes past bedtime to sleep like a baby for the rest of the night.
The moral of the story is that schedules don't replace our children's needs. We can't schedule time for baths and time for stories and time for bed and assume that it will always go to plan. Shoot, I can't remember a day in my own life that went exactly to plan. However, as a first time mom, it's so hard to know what the right decision is and whether it is the right decision in that exact situation. So while I questioned whether taking my son out of bed for a little more time was a mistake, what I know for sure is that his happiness is my utmost priority. And NOW I know that sometimes you break your own rules to make that happen.
Well, not really zero; that's more reflective of my bank account at this point.
Last week was literally www.insane.com. It kicked off with Cyber Monday. Now, I'm signed up for every newsletter and mailing list on the planet, but I COULD NOT believe how many Cyber Monday emails landed in my inbox. Whoever created Cyber Monday is a marketing genius. They have somehow figured out how to create such a desire to have everything. I mean, it's 40% (or 30% or 60% or god forbid, 70%) off!! How could I pass this up?? It started so purposefully with holiday shopping for others. Next thing I knew, I was in the "one for you, one for me" mode. By the end, I'm not sure I was even LOOKING for gifts for other people! JCrew skirts for $35.00; Lucy leggings for $50....must.buy.everything!! By the afternoon, I nearly had a Cyber hangover. The ironic part is that there are a few Christmas gifts that I really should have sought out and purchased on Monday, but did not even consider it. The entire event creates such a tizzy that I was barely thinking clearly! Now I'm just waiting for my purchases arrive. That's the downside of internet shopping: 5-7 day shipping (but it was FREE!)
I woke up Tuesday a little bit poorer, but excited to spend the day highlighting organizations that are prominent in my life for Giving Tuesday. There are so many amazing non-profit organizations and small businesses that work diligently to ensure that they can continue the community impact that they strive towards. I've listed a few here that I happen to love:
1. The obvious: Back on My Feet
I've written about BoMF in prior posts. Back on My Feet uses running and community to motivate and support individuals every step of the way from homelessness to independence. Success is not just measured in miles run or walked but in increased health, education, employment and housing. I just love how many opportunities there are to give to the organization in meaningful ways, not just in monetary donation. Volunteers can join Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning runs at 5:30AM at various locations throughout the city of Philadelphia (or another 11 BoMF locations nationwide); fundRACERS can raise funds for Back on My Feet through races such as the Broad Street Run or Philadelphia Marathon; runners and walkers can contribute by signing up for the Back on My Feet 5-miler in Philadelphia at the end of March. The avenues are endless, and the return is even greater: every dollar invested in Back on My Feet returns $2.50 to the local community.
2. Water For People
Another organization that has set out to change the cycle of poverty. Water for People is an international non-profit working to bring safe water and sanitation to people in nine countries. Did you know that 1.8 billion people lack access to safe water? These people are no stranger to walking nearly four hours a day to access usable water. Partnering with Water for People, communities are looking to give that time back to women and children in order to further education and increase health standards. I love the partnership with the communities that are served; these things only work when everyone is committed and everyone is accountable. If you're looking to get more involved with Water for People, you have a number of avenues from corporate partnership to volunteering.
3. Any and every college and university
For me, The Pennsylvania State University. For my husband, Seton Hall. For my friends, Scranton University, Lehigh University, Lafayette College, University of Massachusetts. You name it, it's worthy. Consider giving to your major, your college, your athletic fund or a memorial gift. Even small donations help in education.
4. Girls, Inc
We can all get behind the empowerment of today's youth, right? Girls, Inc is a North American non-profit focusing on providing life changing experiences and solutions to the unique challenges that girls face. As an HR Business Partner for a technology organization, I love that Girls, Inc has a strong STEM program that encourages girls to explore math, science and technology from a young age. It isn't just academics, however, and put emphasis on sports participation and education around violence prevention, pregnancy and economic literacy. Girls, Inc is truly building our leaders of tomorrow, and showing young girls that they have an equal opportunity to be that leader.
5. Friends of Waring
To round out my top five organizations for Giving Tuesday, I'd call your attention to Friends of Waring. As a city dweller and recent parent, we are constantly fielding the question of whether we will pack up the Peanut and move into the suburbs when he is of school age. Our answer remains vehemently 'NO'. Living in Philadelphia affords our son so much more by way of culture and experience than he would receive if we lived elsewhere; it's an easy walk to the zoo or the Franklin Institute, a quick trip to Smith Playground and acres upon acres of Fairmount Park for him to run and play. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else at this point. I firmly believe that successful education is a combination of caring teachers and dedicated community. With the exception of a few, teachers are committed to the development of their students regardless of the neighborhood or location. However, it's often a resources issue that prevents them from providing all that they would hope in order to enable the greatest success from students. Schools, especially inner city schools, need help. Parents, neighbors, friends, able and willing professionals: give to your schools. The commitment will pay off for the community, the teachers, the school and most importantly, the future of our youth.
I'm certain that there are thousands of other organizations that were the focus of your Giving Tuesday. I think that we can all agree that to give is really to receive. Let's make more days "Giving Tuesday" and watch these organization and our communities flourish.
Only 19 days until Christmas! 'Tis the season for giving!
