Last week I attended my monthly Women @Thomson Reuters Steering Committee meeting in order to discuss our 2014 objectives. The meeting started off by talking about whether the group has been successful in achieving its mission, which intends to support and encourage the success of female colleagues. It's easy to think that success is defined by promotions, increased financial gain or more exposure on larger projects. However, I have to believe that success is defined within each individual. There are excellent employees who aren't jockeying for that next promotion. There are employees who strive to be better at what they are currently doing. There are employees who think that personal growth doesn't result from breaking down the glass ceiling. Success is a very personal feeling. It varies from person to person, even from day to day. Even a third party can build you up and break you down when it relates to how one views success.
The day after the definition of success was fresh in my mind, Joe and I packed our bags to head to Lake Placid for his Ironman. He'd trained for 28 weeks and the time was finally here. The 6.5 hour drive brought anxiety and excitement. We talked about seeing family, seeing friends and enjoying some time away from work. What we didn't discuss was the possibility of not completing the 140.6 mile race that has consumed so much of Joe's energy and so much of our relationship. I'm sure experts would tell you that preparing yourself for the chance that you can't finish is accepting defeat before you start, but I can tell you as I live and breathe that I would have been much better off had I been prepared. The swim was kick ass and the bike was everything we expected of 112 miles in the saddle. Joe was on point and feeling strong...until he wasn't. At mile 16 of the run, things slipped beyond his control and the right decision was made to pull off the course and out of competition. Words can't describe the range of emotions that both Joe and I have felt since that day. I cant claim to know what's in his head but I know what I've seen him experience. The devastation. The disappointment. The let down, and the pain of thinking that you've let everyone down. The anger. The regret. With 10 miles to go, should something have been different? Personally, I wonder if I could have done more to help him. If I could have just been at the right spot on the course when he needed someone most. I'm devastated for him. I feel the same range of emotions that anyone feels when someone that they deeply care for is hurting inside. However Joe's and my thought processes differ at one point along the emotional train, and that point is when defining success. To me the 28 dedicated, determined weeks of exhilarating training were the measure of success. To Joe, crossing the finish line with Mike Reilly deeming you an Ironman is the only route to success. While my heart breaks for his disappointment, it beams with pride when I think about the determination it took to get to the start line. Just being able to show up at an event of that nature and know that you can compete on 140 miles of grueling activity is the epitome of success for me.
As I mentioned before, success is so personal. What others see as obvious success can feel like complete failure to someone else. We needn't be so hard on ourselves all of the time. Relish in your successes, big and small. And if you can't see a clear success in your day, look harder. They are out there just waiting to be celebrated. For women in the workplace, we need to acknowledge those successes more and get others to recognize them as well. For those endurance athletes out there that feel like the only success comes with someone else telling you that you're a winner, I boldly disagree. The courage to try, train, work, commit, dedicate yourself and show up on race day with all of the desire in the world makes you a clear success. Maybe if we could just see ourselves like others see us, success wouldn't be so hard to find.
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