Wow, I'm Out of Touch

Thankfully, not with reality.  Well, at least most of the time.

To look back at my blog, I posted my last entry nearly nineteen months ago.  At that time I was closing in on the final month of my pregnancy with my little Peanut.  The fear was in full effect that I was about to become a mom, step away from my job for almost four months for maternity leave when I had barely taken a week of vacation at any one time in my career, and the unsolicited advice of "your life as you know it is over" was rolling in faster than the fog in Northern Ireland.  I wasn't quite sure at that time what change looked like.  Were we going to be so sleepless and exhausted that the baby would be walking before I got my arms around life?  Would the little guy be so unmanageable that I wouldn't leave the house any longer?  Or could change reflect brilliant, positive steps in a life forward with my new plus one family?  

I quickly learned a few things about my new life:

• Sleepless comes in waves but it doesn't feel so bad when you forget about the clock and get lost in that little baby face that wakes up hangry
• Bottles are like Gremlins and multiply in water
• A baby fever is counter-intuitive.  When your baby fever reaches 100'...101'...102', don't fret.  Worry over 102', and up to 105'.  Crazy, but true
• Wearing a shirt covered in spit-up phases you less and less as the days go by
• Blow Out no longer refers to going to the hair stylist or turning a year older
• You don't really realize how much your life has changed until you have enough time behind you to reflect

Looking back, the worries of a new parent are abundant and while they are never irrational, they are often stresses that a new parent just doesn't need. My son was the last to crawl and one of the last in his class to start walking.  A good friend and experienced parent said to me (paraphrased because I'm a tired parent...), "It's not like he'll be in college and still not walking.  It will happen when it will happen".  She couldn't have been more right.  Babies develop at their own pace and the best we can do is encourage, assist and most importantly, not own that process for our children.  

This past weekend, my husband and I took the Peanut out to the Wissahickon trails for a run during one of the last nice weekends we are going to see before winter.  As we closed out our run, a memory of doing a very similar run as the little guy neared six months old jogged my mind.  I smiled thinking of how much has changed since that day.  That day I feared that we'd never find a regular rhythm in our lives, running or otherwise, again.  On this Sunday, I smiled as we popped the stroller out of the trunk, played in the leaves, traveled with nearly 1/3 of the things that we considered 'must haves' nearly a year ago and enjoyed a few hours of exposing our son to one of the things that his dad and I love - running.  I can only hope that we can continue to foster his loves and his passions as he continues to grow.  And while parenting will never be easy, it does get more normal.  If you're currently feeling the panic of losing yourself, your mind or your passions, just hang on.  It does come back, but luckily it comes back with more purpose and the ability to share it with those you love.

Wissahickon Run 2015

Wissahickon Run 2016